It's Alive!
by GreatOne
Summary: Picard and Deanna find themselves in a strange place, and given little time to save the Enterprise


Words to use in story – Moan, hourglass, mummy.

Yet another story from TFN Spooky Story Challenge!

* * *

**It's Alive!**

Set during the course of the TV series 'Star Trek, The Next Generation' -

Captain Jean-Luc Picard leaned back in his comfortable chair, shutting his eyes and relaxing as he took a careful sip of his cup of steaming Earl Grey tea. It had been a long day – several long days, actually – of tedious and delicate negotiations over territorial space-lane rights with two newly discovered races of beings. One race, a blue-feathered and delicate looking avian species, was being bullied by the other race, which had yellow, bark-type of skin and looked rather like walking trees. Captain Picard had been grateful for Counselor Troi's assistance with deciphering their intentions, and both parties had left the USS Enterprise 1701-D somewhat appeased.

A soft 'bing' sounded on his computer panel, and Picard gave a tired sigh. He pressed the respond button. "Yes?"

Commander Riker's voice came over the speaker, and although Will usually sounded confident, this time is voice carried a slightly hesitant tone. "Captain, I'm sorry for disturbing you, but an anomaly has appeared on the viewscreen. You may wish to see this…object."

So much for taking some down-time, Picard mused. "I'll be right there, Number One." Setting his mug aside, the Captain rose from his chair and gave his shirt a tug before heading toward the bridge. A few moments later, Picard stopped short, frowning as he stared in confusion at the three dimensional form that was spinning out in the darkness of space. A slight chill went coursing down his spine as he fought back memories of his time with the Borg and their oddly shaped cube ships. This, however, was not a black cube, but a white, pyramid-shaped entity.

"It appeared suddenly, Captain," Riker explained. "One moment everything was normal, and then in the next moment we have an Egyptian pyramid blocking our way."

"Appearances aside, I hardly think it's an Egyptian pyramid, Will," Captain Picard chastised lightly.

"On the contrary, Captain Picard," Lieutenant Commander Data piped up from his station. "According to my readouts, that is exactly what we are looking at – the Great Pyramid of Khufu. The object is composed of limestone and granite, and is exactly 146.5 meters in height, with a base of 230.4 meters, which is the original height and base of the pyramid when it still had its outer casing stones and capstone - called a pyramidion - intact, as this pyramid does."

Picard gave his forehead a rub as he pondered Data's information. "Still, it's impossible that this could possibly be that particular pyramid. The elements have worn away the outer stone, and vandals have removed much of the stone over the centuries. This particular… pyramid has none of those imperfections. It must be some sort of ship, and its appearance is a coincidence."

"Sensors do not show any propulsion system, nor do I detect any weapons," Lieutenant Worf said from his tactical station.

"Life signs?" questioned Riker.

"The sensors can detect no life signs, although the pyramid is quite dense and sensors are having difficulty penetrating the stone hull, Commander."

"That leaves out sending a boarding party to the pyramid," Riker stated. "Materializing in the middle of a piece of granite doesn't sound like a bit of fun."

Picard nodded in agreement. "As long as the object is presenting no threat, we'll simply do a visual sweep and record its location and be on our way."

"Sounds like a good plan to me, Sir," Riker said, turning to Data. "Set a course around the pyramid."

Data's fingers flew over the controls, and the Enterprise moved slowly as it attempted to complete its task. The crew watched the viewscreen as the pyramid turned in precise time to the Enterprise's movements, keeping the original side facing them. "It appears the pyramid does not wish for us to scan its backside."

"Increase speed," Riker ordered.

As the Enterprise increased its speed, so did the strange object, and they made no further progress.

"It seems to be playing some type of game with us, Captain," Riker said, sounding annoyed.

"So I see," Picard replied. "I am starting to believe we are wasting our time. Set a course to our original destination, and we shall leave this thing behind us."

For several long moments, Data attempted to position the Enterprise so they could move away, but no matter what he tried, the pyramid simply moved along with them, keeping the solid form directly in their path. Finally, Data dropped his hands from the control board. "Captain…"

"I see the problem, Mr. Data."

"Maybe we should try blasting it into pieces," Riker said, not entirely joking.

"Isn't that just the typical human response to any problem," a very familiar, yet irksome voice spoke up from the back of the bridge.

The crew quickly turned to see their new arrival – none other than the omnipotent Q, dressed up in the gold and jeweled encrusted kilt and headdress of an Egyptian pharaoh, and carrying a gold staff topped with the head of a cobra.

"Why am I not surprised that you are the one responsible for this practical joke," snapped Riker, waving his hand toward the viewscreen.

"You dare call the Great King Khufu a jokester?" Q shot back, feigning outrage. "Feel my wrath, ye mortal called Riker!" Q flung his staff toward Riker, and the crew watched in horror as the staff morphed into an actual cobra, slithering across the floor toward the Second in Command.

Worf pulled out a phaser and shot the snake before it could reach Commander Riker. The creature sizzled and dissipated into thin air.

Q shook his head sadly. "Such a violent race." Then he turned to Picard and immediately forgot all about his snake. "Still, I am glad to see you again, monsieur."

The outer door cycled open and Deanna Troi hurried onto the bridge. "Captain… " Deanna started to say, then was momentarily rendered speechless at the sight of the pyramid hanging in space. She turned her attention to their visitor. "I knew you were close by, Q."

"Of course you did, my beautiful Betazed." Q stepped over to Deanna, taking her hand and giving it a dramatic kiss. "It's always such a pleasure to be in your company, unlike these Neanderthals you keep company."

"Thank you, I think."

"Enough with the pleasantries," Picard barked out. "What do you want this time, Q?"

"Well, it's like this…" Q said, tapping his chin. "I was bored the other day, and I decided this would be a delightful time to visit my old friend, Jean-Luc. But since it would be rude of me to come without bearing gifts, or at the very least, a grand idea for an adventure, I remembered those old-fashioned gifts I gave to the Egyptian pharaohs all those years back – the pyramids! Humans were easier to impress back then, let me tell you."

"Are you trying to tell us you were responsible for building the pyramids?" Picard asked, sounding highly suspicious.

"Of course. But building is such a tedious term, since it implies manual labor. All I had to do was think hard and they came into existence."

Riker gave a snort. "Think hard? Or is it hardly thinking?"

Q glared at Riker. "Captain, your Number Doo-doo is insulting me."

"Will, it might be a good idea to hold our commentary until later," Picard stated.

"Yes, Willy, do that," Q said with a sniff. "Anyway, back to my explanation. Since I was bored, I decided it was time to play a little game with Q's favorite Capitaine."

"I don't have time to play games with you, Q."

"Sure you do." With those words, Captain Picard was suddenly dressed in a suit directly out the 1920's, complete with a bow tie around his neck and a pith helmet on his head. "It's a good look for you, Jean-Luc, trust me."

Picard reached up and touched the helmet, and then tightened his lips. "Q… I'm warning you…"

"And no decent archeologist goes mummy hunting without a sidekick." Instantly, Deanna found herself dressed as a roaring twenties flapper, wearing a tasseled red dress, high heels and a feathered hat.

"There," Q said, satisfied with his handiwork. "Don't they make the cutest couple?"

"Mummy hunting?" Picard asked.

"Plus," Q continued speaking, ignoring Picard, "just to make the game interesting, it needs to be timed." In a blink of the eye a huge, old-fashioned hourglass hung in the center of the bridge. "See, the object of this game is once you're inside my pyramid, you have to locate the mummy and bring it back to life before your time runs out and the pyramid explodes into a million pieces of rock."

"Bring it back to life?" Deanna questioned. "How are we supposed to do that?"

"If I told you how to do that, it would take all the fun and drama out of the whole thing, wouldn't it?" Q said, rolling his eyes. The hourglass flipped over, and the thin stream of sand started trickling from the top to the bottom. "Let the game begin!"

Deanna, Captain Picard and Q all disappeared from the bridge, leaving Riker, Data and Worf behind and staring up at the six foot tall floating hourglass.

* * *

In less than a blink of the eye, Deanna and Jean-Luc found themselves standing in a dusty corridor, which was lit by flickering torches set in wrought-iron holders attached to the walls.

"It appears we are now inside the mystery pyramid," Picard stated, looking at Deanna's dress. "I'm not sure what Q was thinking when he put you in that outfit. How does he expect you to traipse around in high heels?"

"This is totally inappropriate clothing for an archeologist, that's for certain," Deanna agreed as she looked around the corridor. "I wonder which direction we're supposed to head?"

Jean-Luc reached up and pulled a fire torch from its holder, handing it to Deanna before removing another one to carry. He pointed forward. "Let's go this way." The Captain moved down the long hallway, eventually stopping at a point where the corridor branched off into two different directions. "It's your turn to pick the direction, Counselor."

"Well…" Deanna hesitated. "To the left, I suppose." Just at that moment, a loud, eerie moan sounded from the right side corridor. "Unless, Q would prefer us to take the other hallway," she added, shrugging her shoulders and turning to head to the right.

"Love the special effects, Q," Captain Picard spoke loudly into the air. "Maybe you could add a few bats, too." Hundreds of fluttering bats came careening out of the darkness, barely clearing their heads as they flew off.

"Don't give him any more ideas!" a wide-eyed Deanna protested.

"Sorry."

They continued on down the corridor.

* * *

Back on the Enterprise, Riker regarded the hourglass with concern. It was now half-way emptied, and they hadn't been able to contact the Captain or Deanna, nor had their sensors been able to penetrate the pyramid to pick up either of their life-signs. Both Data and Geordi Laforge were desperately trying to increase the short range signal strength in an attempt to locate their crew members, presumably missing inside the odd structure.

If they didn't have success very soon, Riker would be forced to move the Enterprise away from the pyramid, just in case Q had been serious about the thing exploding. He could not risk the entire crew, even though his Captain and the woman he loved was somewhere lost inside the strange, and potentially deadly, pyramid.

* * *

The corridor was becoming steeper with each passing minute. Deanna could no longer keep her balance on the slippery stone while wearing heels, and reluctantly took off her shoes to prevent falling. Picard had offered Deanna his boots, but the empath refused, informing her Captain the boots would be far too large and just as dangerous as the heels.

"That's not very gentlemanly of you, Q," Picard stated firmly. "Counselor Troi will surely become injured without proper footwear. Perhaps the real Neanderthals are your kind, and not us humans."

"I don't believe he cares, Captain," Deanna said, shaking her head. They headed around a bend, and stopped short - lying on the floor was a pair of hiking boots and a pink pith helmet. Deanna pulled on the boots. "It's a perfect fit."

Picard gave a sigh. "Of course they are."

They had taken no more than ten steps when suddenly the floor beneath Deanna's feet gave way, and she let out a startled yell before disappearing into a dark hole.

"DEANNA!" Picard shouted, fear coursing through his body as he used the remaining torch to find his crewmember. "Deanna? Can you hear me?"

"I'm okay," her voice drifted back up. "There's another corridor down here. I think this is where we're supposed to be."

"Q does know how to make things complicated," Picard groused as he lowered himself down into the hole. He was relieved to find Deanna in one piece, although her dress was torn and dirty and her torch and been put out in the fall. He relit her torch, and they continued on their quest.

After about twenty minutes of difficult, steep descent, they arrived at a stone door, which was heavily engraved with hieroglyphics. "I'm not sure how Q expects us to open this door," Deanna said. "It must weigh a couple of tons."

"Perhaps the hieroglyphics are a clue," Picard said, moving the torch closer so he could inspect the carvings.

Deanna smiled. "I keep forgetting that archeology is a hobby of yours. Can you read that?"

"It's pretty basic lettering, actually. Let me see if I can read it…" He paused, mentally translating the carvings into modern letters. Finally the words made sense… in a very, very odd way. "It says, 'eenie meenie, jellie beanie, the spirits are about to speak.'" Jean-Luc frowned at Deanna. "What the hell does_ that_ mean?"

"I haven't got a clue, Captain Picard."

But the words Picard had spoken must have had the desired effect, because the heavy stone door started to shudder, then it slowly opened. Both Jean-Luc and Deanna cautiously entered the huge chamber, which was empty except for a rectangular stone sarcophagus in the very center of the room. Jean-Luc handed his torch to Deanna, and, using all of his strength, managed to push the heavy lid aside, revealing a golden coffin inside the vault.

"I suppose our objective is inside," Jean-Luc stated, reluctantly swinging his legs over the side of the vault so he could open the coffin. The inner box opened surprisingly easily, and there indeed was a mummy lying inside.

"Now, how are we supposed to get that thing to come alive?" Deanna questioned. "Although, to be honest, I'm not too sure I_ want _to figure that part out."

"Me, either," Picard admitted. "I'm certainly not giving it mouth to mouth. Too bad Q didn't send Beverly along with us. Maybe she'd have some ideas."

Deanna laughed. "Don't wish this adventure on her. She wouldn't appreciate it."

"I agree completely." Picard pursed his lips. "Perhaps we should take it out of the coffin. Maybe that will inspire it to wake up."

"Great idea," Deanna said sarcastically. Still, she helped the Captain try to haul the mummy out of the coffin, grasping the ankles while Picard struggled with the shoulders.

* * *

Data glanced over at the twirling hourglass, which was rapidly running out of sand on the top portion. "It doesn't appear we will be successful in locating Captain Picard and Counselor Troi before the sand runs completely to the bottom."

"I know, Data," Riker said grimly. "Give them ten more minutes, and then I'll give the order to move away from the pyramid at warp speed. But I have to give them every second I possibly can."

"I am willing to beam into that… that thing, and try to locate them," Worf volunteered.

Riker shook his head negatively. "If I thought there was even the slightest chance of success, I'd be going myself. I just can't risk sending anyone in there without a clue where they'd materialize, or even if they'd materialize at all."

The bridge crew knew Commander Riker was being honest, but it didn't ease their consciences a single bit.

* * *

"Why is this thing so heavy?" Deanna complained. "You'd think that dried up old mummies wouldn't weigh too much at all."

Picard had to concur with Deanna, and he mused aloud that the mummy seemed a lot taller than most mummies from ancient Earth. They finally managed to hoist the mummy over the side of the stone sarcophagus, and dropped the wrapped corpse on the floor with a loud, heavy thud.

"OWWW!" the mummy yelled in objection to his careless treatment.

Deanna and Jean-Luc jumped backwards, eyes wide. "We woke it up?" Deanna asked in shock as the mummy sat up.

"Apparently," said Jean-Luc with a nod.

The mummy reached up and pulled off the wrappings away from his eyes. "You weren't supposed to drop me!"

"Q!"

"None other," Q said, leaping up from the floor as the bandages disappeared, leaving Q dressed in a white shirt, leather jacket, and tan slacks. He held out his hands and a fedora appeared in one hand and a leather bull whip appeared in the other. "I've always admired men that go boldly into the unknown, no matter what the era." He plopped the hat on his head. "A dashing look, don't you agree?"

"Is this game over now?"

"I suppose. But not until the handsome archeologist gets a kiss from the fair lady," Q said, pursing his lips.

Deanna put her hands on her hips, outraged. "I'm not kissing you! That wasn't even in the rules!"

"I made the game, so therefore I can make the rules up as I go," Q argued. "No kiss means you can't go back to your ship."

Deanna looked over at Picard, aghast. "Do I have to?"

"I certainly can't order you to do something as disgusting as kissing Q," Picard stated.

"HEY! I resent that!" Q shouted in annoyance. "I am not disgu–." He was cut-off from speaking as Deanna pulled his face down and planted a kiss on his lips….

* * *

-then she was kissing Picard, and they were both back on the bridge. Riker, Worf and Data were looking on in shocked silence. Picard and Deanna quickly jumped apart.

"This isn't what it appears," Picard said slowly, feeling his cheeks become red and flushed.

Riker cleared his throat. "Okay. I'm glad you're both back, safe and sound. Is the pyramid still in danger of exploding?"

"Sir?" Data spoke up. "The pyramid had disappeared."

"Then we don't have to worry about it exploding," Worf stated, sounding relieved.

"What happened to Q?" Riker questioned.

"Turns out he was the mummy, and that's who I was kissing before he sent us back to the ship," Deanna explained, sitting down in her chair.

"You were kissing Q?" Riker asked, unable to keep the jealousy from his voice.

"It was the condition to having him return us to the Enterprise!"

Riker frowned at Deanna, and turned away to sit back down in his seat.

"Should I set the course to our last heading, sir?" Data asked.

Picard gave a shaky smile as he took his own seat between the two annoyed lovers. "Make it so, Mr. Data. Make it so."

**THE END**


End file.
